I have an email address, is Jessica.firstname.lastname@example.org. My maiden name is a fairly common, and Jessica is a fairly common name, so needless to say there are a few people out there with my first name/maiden name combo…and they all think that they have MY email address.
I get signed up for endless amounts of spam, ask to confirm email addresses for various websites the usual annoyances. But they’re not all so mundane. So far I’ve figured out a bit about these other Jessicas
– One works for some nature department in the government in Washington. They would forward themselves (ie me) work documents. This one was easy to stop, as all I had to do was reply to the email.
– One has a kid who is 13. This kid is signing up for various websites that require parental confirmation. Request denied!
– One is a professor in Texas, I get the occasional email from students with questions, or more recently trying to submit an assignment. I usually ignore these ones, but I did email the one with the assignment back so they didn’t fail.
– One is sharing her email address with a brother or something who is trying to sign up for Facebook. I keep getting emails from a Joseph trying to get their confirmation codes to sign up for Facebook, when they inevitable don’t get their email they request to have it sent again, and again and again and again. This is one of the most annoying offenders
– One lives in China, and bought a plane ticket.
– One is engaged, and one is pregnant. This may or may not be the same person, and may also be one of the Jessica’s mentioned above. All the sudden I started getting emails from every wedding place on earth, and I would get the occasional email from someone about a baby shower.
– One signed up for a video chat service. I assume this is the one in China.
I’ve dealt with these emails in various ways. Most I can just scroll to the bottom and hit unsubscribe. The ones from the teenager I always deny the request. I like to imagine the kid gets the email that their parents denied the request, and world war three breaks out at home. If it’s an email I can respond to I usually do. When this first started 7 years ago the emails were just a quick polite note letting the person know their mistake. The emails now are still quick but filled with a few more expletives and suggestions that people need to learn their damn email address, and could they please let this idiot knowing I’m tired of dealing with their emails.
On a few I had a little more fun. The video service’s initial email included the username and password. I considered changing the password on the person but then I imagined all the emails I would get when this person tried to fix the problem. Instead I logged on and changed any information I could. First name:learnyourfuckingemail address Last name:Igetyouremailsallthetime
Address:123 It fucking annoying dr. Stop using my email, PA 66666.
I hope that someday they will learn their email address, and I will stop getting all these emails. If you think I’m overreacting, I get at least two or three of these a week, sometime upwards of ten to fifteen if it is a Facebook week.
So my dear readers, if your email address is your name, please make sure when you give it out to people, you don’t fuck it up. Someone like me might be getting your emails.